My Angel with Crimson Eyes
by Lord Mordaq Sevillate
Summary: Androids are not supposed to have feelings, so why does she, and how can she love a person like me, the one who murdered the first? Story rating may go up in the future.
1. Chapter 1

Xenosaga: My Angel With Crimson Eyes

The characters from Xenosaga are owned by Monolith Soft and Namco. Therefore, I don't own them.

Just so you know, KOS-MOS Is an android.

The Elsa is the ship their on.

Don't take these two quotes the wrong way, I'm only writing them for people who haven't played the game.

Part One, Sadness Within My Beloved:

I'm sitting in my room pondering what could be going on in her mind.For that matter, I am curious as to why I created her in the first place. I just don't understand how she could be so cruel to everyone else. I sit and remembers the escapade that happened earlier that day. Absently, I stand up, put on my jacket, and soon, find myself in front of the Elsa's Elevator.

"You shouldn't be wandering around at night. Staying up to late Is bad for your health. You of all people should know this." A voice from in front tells me.

Huh. I look up to find a boy with platnum hair, teal eyes, orange boots, and a orange jacket with some areas where gold buttons reside. Oh, it's just you chaos. The silvery haired boy presses the elevator button and, in a few seconds, the doors close and we start to decend.

"What are you doing up so late chaos?" I ask.

"I guess the same reason as you. I couldn't sleep."

"Oh." I reply puzzeled.

"Is something wrong?" He askes.

"No. Why?" I return.

I don't know. You just seem to be down. He tells me, sheepishly.

It's...it's just the way KOS-MOS acted in the diner. She could at least show a little consideration, even if she is an android. I reply.

_**ThreeHour Ago:**_

"Water!" Captain Matthews said pushing the cup he was holding towards me.

"Oh, right."

I pour him another glass from the water pitcher sitting on the table. Allen for once, pours himself another cup. I turns my head to look at KOS-MOS who at the time, was serving food to the ocupents in the room. Momo suddenly got up from her seat.

"Can I help KOS-MOS?" she asked.

"I do not require assistence in this task." replied KOS-MOS

"But..." Momo started but was cut off by her monotone voice.

"There is a 43.63921 chance that you will drop a plate's contence on the floor while, If I am allowed to continue, the chance is reduced to a mear 13.29548. Now, if you do not mind, I would like to return to the task that I have been assigned."

Momo turned and ran out of the room crying. KOS-MOS, who was now finished setting out platters, departed for her mantinence lab. I finally got the nerve to chase after her, managing to catch up with her in the hallway leading to the elevator.

"KOS-MOS!" I yelled in her direction. She stoped and slowly turned around.

"Yes Shion," She said in her monotone voice.

"How... How could you say somethink so cruel to Momo." I scream.

"I was just stating the truth." She replied, without a shread of emotion in her voice. " my skills at the task that was assigned to me far surpassed that of Momo's.

Soon after, I felt my anger slowly beginning rise in me. So much that I found myself digging my fingernails into my hands.

"You...you, you really think that gives you the right to tell her off like that!." Before I knew it, my hand flew up and struck the side of her face, palm first. I hit her so hard that my palm still stung a few minuets after the slap; so hard that it arked her head to tha side. I then turned and stormed off towards my cabin, fuming with rage. Once there, I collapsed onto my bed and began to cry. Meanwhile, KOS-MOS was left standing in the hallway. Oddly, she had her hand on the cheek that I slaped. She then turned around and traveled down to the basement floor of the Elsa, her eyes beginning to water. As she was about to enter the lab where her mantinence bed resided, chaos exited from the room.

"Oh, I was wandering where you were." he said cheerfully.

She stared at him for a few seconds then without warning, collapsed to the floor crying. chaos immedeitly droped to the floor and pulled her into a hug, despreatly trying to calm her down, his cheerfulness replaced by a feeling of sympathy for the beautiful android. Meanwhile, back in my cabin, I laid there for a few minuets more then, finally out of boardum, decided to go and see if I could find Momo. As I entered the corridor leading to the elevator, I was starteled when I herd chaos In front of me.

_**Now:**_

"She is sitting in her mantinence lab crying right now ." He informed me.

"What?" I reply confused.

"She told me about what occured between you two in the hallway." He explained. I think you made her really upset when you hit her"

"Oh, I didn't know she even had feelings." I snaped back.

"She does Shion. Please don't be angry. I mean you of all people must know that under all of her computer banks, wires, and bolts, she is just another woman who, like everyone else, needs someone to be there for her. Someone to care for in her times of need."

"I...I know but..." I just couldn't find the right words to say.

"Shion, she deaply regrets what she did and although I tried, I couldn't really comfort her." He exclaims whild lowering his eyes.I can tell that, this fact pains him. He suddenly looks into my eyes. "She wasn't ment for me but, to be honest, I think she was made to be yours."

"I...I don't know if I could face her again." I reply as I begin to weap.

"you may mot now but, you will eventually." He wipes the tears away from my face.

"If you can't be there for her, she will never understand the value of true happyness." A voice calls out from behind me.I finally turn around to find Jr. and Momo standing where the voice originated. It is evident that they have also been crying for I can see fresh tearlines streeking their faces.He then says something to Momo which seems to chear her up a little, and they depart, although I don't know where they could have been going. I see both of them holding each others hand as they leave. Momo and Jr, I know, they where made for each other.

" But me and KOS-MOS, I...thought I was just her mother" I thought to myself outloud. "Or at least her friend."

"Then you have to let her know, otherwise she may never be happy." chaos informs me. " right now she is toarn between what she should do."

"I...I will try."

"Shion?" he whispers. "You must know that she loves you." "She called you her mother." "The main question here is, do you feal the same way about her."

Then I remembers a phrase my father told her.

"If you don't find someone to chearish in your life, what is the point of you existence anyway?"

"I...I..I don't know what I should do."

"No one usually ever does but does that stop them, usually no," He replies as he lets go of me.

I meen, I do love her. She is like the daughter I could never have but, what does that mean...I just don't understand. What right do I have to judge her? Sometimes I think that the only reason I created her was to fill the void that Kevin left when the first KOS-MOS went berserk and murdered him. Do...do I love KOS-MOS? Not like a daughter,but as a lover. That is the question that I ponder while heading to the mantnence lab, To my angel. I am now standing at the door leading to the room where my beloved weeps. Even now, I can hear her inside, crying after all that has happened. chaos couldn't be there for her, Thats my job but, a voice in my head keeps asking me the same questions over and over.

"Am I the right person for this?"

"Am I the right person for her?"

"Do I even deserve a person like her?"

These are a few of the many question of which I don't know the answer.

END OF PART ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Xenosaga: My Angel With Crimson Eyes

_**Part Two: I...I Don't UnderstandAnymore**_

Reluctently, I press the door release button. The doot slides through the floorslit under it. There before me sits my beloved, wraped in nothing more then a bedsheet, though I can see the outline of her leather garb. Her leggings are strown in a corner, as if having been hurled thein in a fit of rage. Her face is red, almost as if she has been crying for hours on end. Tearlines streak down her beautiful form. she looks up and our eyes meet for a few seconds, then she runs to me and buries her head in my shirt, crying softly. I gently lead her back to the sofa in the room and sit, pulling her down with me. Neither she nor I utter a single syllable for a while. Whe just sit there, holding each other. Finally, she speeks.

" I...I just don't understand human emotions well enough." she cries out." why, why, why do I feal like this?" she askes me between sobs." I though I was incapable of illogical human thought. Why, why amI like this right now!" she screams. She buries her head deeper.

I couldn't answer her. All that I could do was cradel her and cry as well.

Soon, I found her sound asleep against me. I felt so sorry for what happened earlier. I felt like it was my falt. I gently shook her awake.

"Her body," I thought. "It's, it's so warm." And although I woke her, I still cradeled her. She looked up at my eyes but, to my suprise, her eyes where no longer the shade of crimson they were once before. Instead, they where replaced by the most beautiful currillian blue that I had ever seen.

"Shion...I'm sorry." she gently whispers to me.

" No, I should be the one who is apologising. I shouldn't have hit you like that." I replied.

"But I think I hurt Momo when I said I didn't need help. Tell me, is she still crying?" She asked me.

"No." I replied, gently stroking her face "Jr. was able to chear her up, and relax, I don't think she will hold a grudge against you." .

"C..can I ask you a favor?" she asks me.

Of course." I reply as she moves and lays her head on my sholder.

"Can I just stay like this? It's...it's comfortable." she tells me.

"Of couse you can," I reply. "For as long as you wish."

"Thank you."she finally tells me and it is then that I notice that her voice has changed. Instead of the cold monotone voice she used before, It was replaced by a calm voice full of love and remorce for the way she had acted earlier that day.

"You don't have to feal sorry for yourself." I wisper in her ear.

"S..Shion?" she askes.

"Yes." I reply.

"I..I love you."she tells me in a soft wisper. "More then a child would love it's mother" "I... the truth is...when I am around you my heart, or what I want to believe is my heart, races. My stomach tightens, my breath comes in short gasps, and my face flushes with color. Tell me, Whats wrong with me? I need to know!" she askes me as she once again begins to weep.

"KOS-MOS," I start to say but am cut off when the ship is racked by an explosion. I bend down and kissed her on the cheak.

"I love you too, and I will explain everything to you later." I calmly tell her. She smiled sweatly at me and stood up. It was then that I noticed her eyes had returned to the shade of crimson they where before.

"Shion." she says in her monotone voice, "lets get to the bridge. Oh, and I am holding to your word."

"I will keep my promise." I reply to her. " But now is not the time. We need to move."

"Affirmative." she says back and then, her lips curl up intoa cockysmirk, "Lets go."

Soon after, we are racing twards the Elsa's bridge, side by side when suddenly, we run into Ziggy. He just nods at both of us and we continue onward, Ziggy in front and me bringing up the rear. Whe soon reach the bridge.

"Captain," whats going on?" I ask over all the commotion. But one look out the window makes one of my worst fear come true. Outside the ship is the Simion, or better yet, The corrupt U.R.T.V., Albedo.Instently, I can hear his manical loughter in my head as I stare. But what I see next renders me speachless, "gnosis."


	3. Chapter 3

Xenosaga: My Anged With Crimson Eyes

Gnosis: An alein lifeform composed mostly of sodium chloride and water. Doesent exist in our own dimention, rather, exist in it's own dimention. In lament terms, We can see them in our dimention but, we cannot hurt them. however, they can hurt us.

Hilbert Effect: A wave generated from an Hilbert wave generater. Has the ability to materalizes the gnosis as well as to cause interference in mechanical devices.

Part Three: Hopeless Circumstances

"Gn...Gn...Gn..GNOSIS." I scream.

Thousands of them. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, My brow begins to sweat. I can feel my muscles tightning, I start to feel nausious. I wanted to scream out but I can't find my voice.

"KOS-MOS, Ultra wide range Hilbert Effect." I finally manage to get out.

"Affirmative." she replies.

Pretty soon I find the familier visor down over her face obscuring her eyes from view. I just can't stand it when she activates that thing anymore. I just like seeing her eyes now. She, I can tell has changed. At least her eyes, for the most part. The familier wave of energy leaves her body and fly out in a circular pattern, materilizing all of the gnosis in our imediate area. I then run down to the A.G.W.S. hanger to board my VX-7000, an A.G.W.S. that was given to me by Vector. As I enter the hanger, I see Jr. and chaos boarding there own units. It is then that I notice an extra A.G.W.S in the hanger but, am suprised with who is boarding it.

"M...Momo, What are you doing." I ask.

"I'm going to help you fight." she replies.

"Let her come." Jr. says.

"But..." It is then that I am interupted by a transmition from KOS-MOS who is apparently in the cargo elevater.

"Shion." she says.

"Yes." I reply.

"Good luck." she says and, it is then that I notice her eyes beginning to tear up again.

"Don't cry. We'll both get out of this, somehow." I tell her.

She says ok but the air in the elevator she is in was so thin that I couldn't hear her. I smile at her and soon, we depart.

I knew that when she got outside, she would probably use the X-BUSTER and, that thought made me shudder. when ever I think about it, it horrified me, seeing her take in all of those gnosis. Every time she uses it, one phrase repeats itself in my mind.

"Will feeling pain make me complete?" However, I quickly dismiss that notion.

As soon as we are outside of the ship, I find three potintal targets hovering a few meters away from me. I imediatly fire my rifel at the closesed one I could find, scoring a hit and killing it. Unfortuntly, that draws the attention of the other two. They start rushing touards me. I fire three rounds in there direction but, to my horror, miss with every shot, and for a second, I thought I was going to die when, to my relief, KOS-MOS flew in front of me and fired her R-CANNON at the two, catching boath in the explosion. I noticed that Momo was fairing extreamly well, fightning alongside Jr.. Their mover where so perfactly coriographed that, It looked almost like a dance. Almost. Suddenly, a gnosis grabbed her A.G.W.S left arm and tore it clean off. I screamed and tried to rush to her ais but, was aburptly cut off by the Simeon. Instinctly, I fired on it but to no avail. My shots just bounced off it's armor and finally, It grabbed my unit by the head.

"No...no no no. I don't want to die." I screamed, fear evedent in my voice. I shut my eyes tightly and prepair for the worst. A few minuets later though,

I open my eyes to find that the Simion backing off from me. Clearly in retrete frommywould be saviorKOS-MOS.

I look down to find her keeping more gnosis from coming near me. My guess was that she hit the Simeon a few times with her blaster, judging from the large holes in it's body. Finally, the gnosis turned and fled from the battlezone. Even though I find this strange, I can't help but find this strange. they usually never run from combat.I tried to return to the ship only to find that my logic drive was no longer working. Ilook at the monitor of my A.G.W.S. predicted the damage to the hull and think to myself,(Am I going to die like this.) Suddinly I felt my unit jolt. Thinking that my unit was about to explode, I shut my eyes tight, only to realise that the jolt was KOS-MOS, helping me back to the ship.

Back on the Elsa, I notice that she had a few open wounds and now that we are on the ship again. I could see them more clearly now. However, instead of sparks, I notice blood trickling down her body. But who's. Then I notice that it was coming from her wounds. She smiles weakly at me then, without warning, collapsed to the ground unconcious, her blood slowly pooling around her. chaos and I imeditly scooped her up and carried her to her mantinence bed, but through this whole ordeal, one thought plagued my mind.

"How is she bleading?"

As soon as we enter the mantinence lab, I cleaned bandage up her wounds. After a while, she stops bleading and, with a sigh of relief, I ploped down next to her bed. After a while, sleep found me. But that phrase kept repeating it's self in my head.

"How is she bleading...how is she bleading...how is she bleading."

End Of Part Three:


	4. Chapter 4

Xenosaga: My Angel With Crimson Eyes

Part four: Downfall Of Sorrow

For hours I find myself checking on her. For hours I find myself stroking her hair. But still she will not wake. Why? It is then that I begin to cry. Weeping, praying for her safe return to me. I feal just like I did when she told us she would stay behind on Proto Merkaba to finish the perge. I, I feal hopeless. I feal scared. I feal worried, but most of all, I feal alone. I long to feal her body stroking mine. To feal her hair brush against my hands as it did before. I don't want to lose her like I lost Kevin. I want her to stay by my side. Does this mean I love her. Is this fealing normal. It feals so alien to me, so new. I want to embrace it, want to embrace her but, alas, I can not. What then. What should I do. chaos has long left and, even if he was here, would I feal any different. Please my beloved, wont you wake. Every moment your not with me is unbearable. I am so deap in thought that I don't notice Momo enter.

"Shion?" she askes. I do not reply.

She comes over and hugs me from behind. But why. Why should she care. Care about how I am fealing. Why cant she just leave me alone.

'Momo, please, leave me alone for now." I tell her.

I am in the depths of despair. I want to die but, something won't let me.

What then, what is that factor. My answer finally comes to me.

...Her.

Three days later

Does she really care about me. I know now the answer to my question. Of course I love her. But does she really love me. That night now seems like a dream. A dream that has happened long ago but with whom I am unable to forget. I have now gone three days by her side. But to what avail. Why am I acting like this. Allan has kept telling me to get some rest but to what. What reason. Why should I care about my own health when KOS-MOS life is in peral. My mind keeps telling me to rest but my heart longs to be near her. What then. What should I do. I sit there, pondering over this. I need rest but I long to stay near her. Finally I decide to go to bed. Might I steal a kiss from her. Embrace the fact that she is still alive. My mind tells me not to but my heart tells me I may not get another chance. I finally decide. I bend over and kiss the lips that I have longed for so lond to feel.. How sweat they are. Finally after a few seconds that seamed like eturnity, I break the kiss and go off to my cabin. I might regreat what I did tommorow but, I don't now.

I am once again in my bed lying with my front facing the celing. I turn on my side, away from the door and slowly fall into a gental but light slumber. In my sleep I think I hear someone enter my room but thinking It was just part of a dream I let the thought dissaper from my mind. I am awoken when I find two loving arms sorrounding me. One with a black glove on it. I turn over to face my companion only to find KOS-MOS, lying next to me. My instincts take over and soon, I feel my arms encircling her body. We both hold eack other for what seams like forever when my lover finally speaks.

"I was awake when you kissed me."She whispers.

"Oh." I reply blushing.

"You promiced" she informs me but is silenced when I bring my lips up to meet hers. I noticed she was startaled at first but quickly began to embrace it. Our tongues play around and I cant help but notice how sweat her mouth tastes. Every time I try to break the kiss she pulled me deaper into it. Finally our lips parted and whe both just stared at each other. Her eyes are blue once again and I notice hou pleasent she looks lying here next to me. She snuggels close to me ans this time, I am the first to speak.

"KOS-MOS?" I whisper.

"Yes." she whispers back.

"You know I love you, right?" I ask. "But do you love me."

"I don't know if I can answer that untill you explain to me what love is." she replys.

"OK, i'l explain." I whisper taking hold of her hand. " Love is a fealing that humans have towards cirtain other humans. It is a way of showing affection for another. Really it can only be expressed through action."

"Oh." she whispers. "could you show me?"

"I already have. Remember, I kissed you a few minuits ago."

"Oh, that was an expression of love." she asks.

"Yup. It was." I reply chearfully.

She smiles and bends over to kiss me back. I calmly accept it knowing that she is still learning. I notice that unlike my kiss, hers was more timid and not as long.

"KOS-MOS, is your power cell fully charged?" I ask.

"Yes...why?" she returns.

"Would you like to sleep in here?" I ask.

"That would be nice." she replys.

"Ok."I reply. "

I then get up and tell her to sit on the bed. When she did, I calmly removed her boots, her leather skirt,hip guards,and her black glove. Then I removed the leather covering her other arm. finally I remove the plates covering her ears. She winces slightly when I accendently brush against her wounds. every time she cried out softly, I would apologise and give her a quick kiss on the wound.

'KOS-MOS?"

"Huh" she replys.

"Do you want a nightgown"

"If it's ok, can I just sleep in this?" she replies pointing to her armored liotard that was still on her body.

"Of corse." I tell her.

After that we both laid down and soon slumber found us. My dreams that night were plesent ones. I hoped that her's where as nice also.

The next morning I wake up feeling refreshed and look to my side but, to my disapointment,find that KOS-MOS is no longer next to me. Was last night a dream. I think about this as I get dressed and, head off to the diner to cook breakfast. In the kitchen, I start cooking. Everyone tells me that my cooking is great. Maybe I could cook for some rich person, I don't know. I really don't think that my cooking is that good. As I am frying the sausage, my beloved enters the kitchen.

"KOS-MOS!" I call happily. She looks at me but I see no emotion in her stare.

"Yes Shion" she replies to me in her monotone voise.

Perhaps it was just a dream. I do not know.

"Could you help me with this?" I ask pointing to the food on the stove.

"Of corse." she replies.

As she is helping me, my concience couldn't hold the question back.

"KOS-..." But I am cut off when she pushes me gently against the wall and kisses me once again.

"Thank you for a wonderful night." She whispers in my ear after the kiss.

It is then that I know that last night wasn't a dream.

END OF PART FOUR


End file.
